Valentine’s Day is coming again.
Somewhere between work deadlines, responsibilities, and daily stress, many of us suddenly realise how fast time has passed. We work hard, we provide, we endure, and before we know it, another Valentine’s Day is here.
Relationships are not easy to maintain.
They never were.
They require effort from both parties, not just love, not just intention, but consistent understanding.
This is not a romantic blog post.
It is an honest one.
The Truth I See Every Year as a BaZi Consultant
Every year, I meet 30 to 40 couples for BaZi consultations related to relationship breakdowns, separations, or divorce considerations.
This is not an exaggeration.
And it is deeply sobering.
What surprises many people is this:
Most of these cases are not because of a third party (小三).
They are caused by:
Misunderstanding
Emotional distance
Unspoken expectations
Growing in different directions
Feeling unseen, unheard, or unappreciated
These are quiet issues.
They do not explode overnight.
They accumulate.
In BaZi, Relationships Are Written in the Day Pillar
In BaZi analysis, relationships are often reflected in the Day Pillar of the birth chart.
The Day Pillar represents:
The self
The spouse or partner
How intimacy is formed and maintained
How love is expressed and received
By analysing the interaction between the Day Branch (bottom element) and the rest of the chart, we can see:
How a person gives love
How they expect love to be returned
Where friction, misunderstanding, or emotional gaps arise
What kind of adjustments can realistically improve the relationship
This is not guesswork.
It is pattern recognition built on classical metaphysics.
Case 1: The Misunderstood Partner
One common situation I see is the misunderstood partner.
These individuals:
Do a lot for the relationship
Sacrifice time, energy, or comfort
Intend well, but are constantly misunderstood
Feel emotionally exhausted and unappreciated
In BaZi, this often appears as a “harm” interaction within the chart.
A harm structure does not mean the person has bad intentions.
It means their actions are frequently misread, and their efforts are easily interpreted the wrong way.
Over time, resentment builds on both sides:
One feels unappreciated
The other feels dissatisfied without knowing why
Without clarity, love slowly erodes.
Case 2: Mismatched Expectations and Silent Distance
Another common pattern is self-punishment in the BaZi chart, often seen when similar zodiac elements repeat.
This often manifests as:
Poor communication
Laziness in explaining feelings
Assumptions replacing conversations
“You should already know how I feel”
Over time, expectations shift.
A spouse may grow more ambitious, career-focused, or independent.
The other may still expect the relationship to remain as it once was.
Eventually, they are no longer walking at the same pace, or even toward the same future.
Not because love disappeared.
But because alignment was lost.
Do I Ever Tell People to Divorce?
This is a question I am often asked.
The answer is honest and clear:
I value commitment deeply.
I almost never advise separation unless the situation is extremely serious, such as cases involving domestic abuse or severe harm.
Most relationships do not need an ending.
They need understanding, adjustment, and timing.
BaZi does not force decisions.
It provides clarity so better decisions can be made.
Valentine’s Day Is Not About Grand Gestures
Valentine’s Day is not just about gifts, flowers, or dinners.
It is a reminder.
A reminder to pause.
A reminder to reflect.
A reminder to ask whether two people are still aligned, still understood, and still growing together.
Love survives not on romance alone, but on mutual awareness.
A Different Kind of Valentine’s Day Gift
A Couple BaZi Reading is not about predicting divorce or conflict.
It is about:
Understanding how both partners give and receive love
Identifying hidden friction points before they become irreversible
Learning how to support each other based on actual compatibility patterns
Reducing unnecessary misunderstandings
Rebuilding appreciation and emotional safety
This is not fortune-telling.
It is relationship awareness.
Valentine’s Day: Invest in Understanding
If you truly value your relationship,
this Valentine’s Day may be the right time to look deeper.
Not to find faults.
But to understand each other better.
👉 Sign up for our Couple BaZi Reading
and take this Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to strengthen, not test, your bond.
Because relationships are not maintained by chance.
They are maintained by effort, clarity, and mutual respect.
And sometimes, the most loving thing you can do
is to understand before it is too late.